After a bad sleep the night before we piled into the van and went back to the orphanage the next morning.

The weather that day was very much like the weather is today: clear, cool, breezy. It made me think of New England, where I spent a lot of my childhood. We were able to enjoy the drive out a little more than the drive the day earlier. We still had some anxieties but my decision, at least, had been made.

Yuri was brought to us outside this time, since it was so beautiful. We played on the playground outside the orphanage. I'm not sure that he'd ever been there before as he seemed completely unsure of how to use the slide or the little rocking toy, but he was game for anything.

It was a very good time. Like I said, we were still anxious but I think that was the first day that we became a family. I can still see my husband sliding him down the slide and I can still see my new baby's astonishment as the wind blew leaves off the trees. He would point and make a sound like "hooooo." To me it seemed like everything was a perpetual surprise to him.

Then it was time to go in and join his gruppa. We had to give Yuri (now Little J in our minds) to a nurse since he had a cold and was in quarantine in the infirmary.

When we walked in all the kids were lined up against the wall, sitting on minature benches. The caretaker clapped her hands and they all moved to little tables. Some walked, but many crawled. A couple scooted on their bottoms, and one or two kind of dragged themselves over to the tables. The children were all 2 and 3. None of them made any noise. It was very strange to us to see a bunch of preschool aged children who didn't chatter or him or sing or even wiggle. They were still and silent.

When we passed out the cookies we had brought a couple of children started to scream and rock. After they all had their cookies the caretaker said something and they nodded their heads. "They're saying thank you," our translator said. I wondered why they didn't teach them to actually say thank you, but given their silence I figured noise was discouraged.

We asked if many of them talked and the caretaker said that the older ones could say their names, but that was about it.

It was at that point that we made our decision, I think. We realized that the deprivation these kids lived in was severe and that probably Little J was the 'best' kid in the orphanage, or at least on target, considering the other children there. Little J was 15 months old and although he couldn't walk, talk, etc., he seemed similar to these slightly older children.

I try not to think about those kids too much, especially the ones who were dragging themselves and who rocked and screamed when they saw the food. It is very, very sad. We left over 100 children at that orphanage that day. I'm pretty certain that they're still there.

Picture credit.

Part 1 of our story is here.
Part 2 is here.
Part 3 is here.
Part 4 is here.
Part 5 is here.
Part 6 is here.
Part 7 is here. "The Train to Voronezh"
Part 8 is here.
Part 9 is here. "The Orphanage"
Part 10 is here. "Voronezh Regional Specialized Children's Home"
Part 11 is here: The Doctor.
Part 12 is here. "Yuri!"
Part 13 is here. "Decisions."
This is part 14.