I wonder what life was really like for our children in the orphanage. I am positive that we didn't see the way they were treated on a daily basis during our short visits. I know there were good people who worked there, but I also think there were some people who shouldn't work with children.

Last week, I took Bonnie to preschool with her new glasses. She wears her glasses around the house without any hesitation. But, once she saw the other children, she was very embarrassed to be wearing glasses. I couldn't get her to wear them. I was surprised that she was acting this way, because she wore glasses in the orphanage. She kept hanging her head and looking at the other kids to see if they were noticing her. I finally made her look at me, and I told her that she is beautiful with her glasses. I told her how much I loved her.

She smiled, and looked at the other children again. Then she slowly walked into the room. I talked with her teacher, and explained that she is self-conscious about them. I hinted that any compliments the teacher could give were appreciated.

Since that day, she hasn't thought twice about wearing them at home, or at school. And really, I haven't thought much about the incident until tonight.

Tonight, I read this fantastic thread by Jen, who works with an orphanage in Russia. I wonder if Bonnie was embarrassed BECAUSE she wore glasses in the orphanage. It sounds like its very common to ridicule a child or compare them to other children in that environment. Bonnie certainly shows signs of this, as she becomes so self-conscious when she's around other children and teachers.

The other thing I've noticed is that my daughter is always looking at herself in the mirror. Being attractive is so important to her. In fact, she is always asking me if she's pretty. I wonder if she was told otherwise. It breaks my heart to think about it.

I am grateful tonight for the reminder of how blessed I am to have my children. They've been through more than I can imagine, and I'm happy they're finally home.