Todd Parr rocks! We love, love, love Todd Parr in our house! We have The Family Book, The Mommy Book, and The Daddy Book, and we've checked all the rest out of the library. These are simple books, but they are simple genius. Here's the basic philosphy of his books:

We're all a little bit different and we're all a little bit the same. That's what's cool about the world.

Now, if you don't believe that and you don't want your kids learning about differences like, for example, multiracial families or families with two mommies, you aren't going to like these books. But for me, that's what is best about them. Family situations that aren't treated as "normal" in most children's books or televisions shows are completely normalized in Todd Parr's books.

Let's take The Family Book. Here's a bit from the book:

Some families look alike.
Some families look like their pets.
All families are sad when they lose someone they love.

All true, right?

Now this:

Some families have a stepmom or stepdad and stepsisters or stepbrothers.
Some families adopt children.
Some families have two moms or two dads.
Some families have one parent instead of two.
All families like to celebrate special days together!

Again, all true. He's not saying you have to like it, or you have to do it yourself, or even that it's a good or bad choice - but it's true. And that's the beauty of these books. Facts=truth=normalization.

What's funny is that this book has helped my kids understand differences in ways you wouldn't expect. Fact is, we have friends who are adopted. We have friends whose families are multiracial. We know children with two mommies and we know have neighbors who are two daddies to a pair of golden retrievers. My older son has several kids in his class who live with their mommies only, and there are a couple of kids in Little J's preschool class who live with their grandparents. We didn't need a book to point that out.

But in our own family, we don't just need a book, we sometimes need a chart.

One day I was brushing Big J's hair and I said something about his hair reminding me of my dad's hair.

But Grandpa Mac's hair is white and curly and he's bald on top! Big J told me.

Oh, I don't mean Grandpa Mac's hair, I said. I mean my dad's hair.

Grandpa Mac is not your dad? Where is your dad? Why doesn't he live with Grandma? Both boys were confused. Why wouldn't they be? Fact is, Grandpa Mac, although the only Grandpa on my side of the family they've ever known, is my stepfather. My father and mother divorced when I was young and my dad died 5 years before Big J was born. My dad and I had a relationship complicated by alcoholism and illness. I don't talk about him much, I guess. Maybe there's too much to explain. I gave the kids a brief, sanitized version of the story and the next time we pulled out The Family Book we talked about what a stepfamily is. End of story. Maybe.

I guess that says something about me. I have no problems talking to my kids about alternative lifestyles or loving the person you were meant to love, but death? Divorce? A daddy who was drunk all the time? No. Not suitable for sixes and under, IMHO. I just don't want them to have to worry about it.

What do you think about this? I mean, besides the fact I should probably dig out a picture of my dad and start telling my boys about him - at least the good parts. What are subjects it's ok to talk about with your kids and what would you rather avoid?