My lovely son Little J has quite the potty mouth. Since his diagnosis with ADHD and subsequent medication the incidences of him calling me a stupid baby mommy have lessened, but interestingly enough, have been replaced by a more coherent discussion of what are bad words and what are not.

Some words he knows are inappropriate, largely because he's heard me say them and has repeated them and I've told him not to say them.

Some words he's heard from other kids (I'd say he's heard the "worse" swear words from other kids, not from me) and he asks me about them. It's very disconcerting to be driving along to school and to be asked what the "f" word means by a four-year-old. My response so far has been along the lines of errr..urrrmmm..that's a grownup word! Don't say it any more! This inevitably leads to him storing it away in his memory to be brought out later...maybe at school, or with his grandma, or with an elderly woman at the post office.

I just looked up "child development and swearing" and found one site that recommends not swearing in front of your children. Um, duh. But also - like that's going to happen. Here's a website with lots of parents' attitudes about swearing in front of their children, in case you care what other people think.

Here's a good response to use when your kids swear, from the child.com website:

"Parents should try to put on an exaggerated air of boredom when their child uses bad language in front of them. For instance, you could say, 'Oh, I've heard all that before. And, you know what? I think it's terribly impolite to talk like that. If you really enjoy using those words, you can go into your room and say them in private as much as you want. But I expect you not to use that type of language in front of me or in the company of any other adults.'" ...fascination with profanity should soon fade if you make sure that you don't overreact to...cursing and you stand firm ...

I imagine this is a big issue with older children who are just acquiring language. If they hear it in school and it seems "cool" I'm sure they'll remember it a lot better than the higher quality language they hear at home. I'm not sure what to do about that. Here's an interesting article about teaching adult ESL/EFL students swear words as part of their English class. I'm wondering if perhaps if kids hear these words and their meanings from parents first (I don't mean in the heat of the moment, but rather in a calm planned-out discussion) then they may use much of their "coolness." After all, if parents know these words they must not be cool at all.

I also have had pretty good luck with providing alternatives to swears. My older son will often say "Aw, nuts!" when something doesn't go his way.
I think that's pretty cute. I'm sure he learned it on TV or something. I wonder if Spongebob says it?

Maybe I should use the alternatives, too?