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There was one part of Rose Alaimo’s latest reports from Russia that I didn’t share with you the other day: What she learned about toilet training in a Russian orphanage.
As those of you who have brought home toddlers already know, children are potty trained very early in Russian orphanages. Almost as soon as they can sit, they are made to sit on a potty after meals. Nature takes its course and the kids get into a bathroom routine fairly quickly. It is not at all uncommon to be handed an 18-month-old and be told that he or she is potty trained.
This is pretty understandable from an orphanage management standpoint. Doing laundry for 50 to 100 children is hard enough without adding in several changes of diapers a day. And even though the Russian economy has improved tremendously since my first adoption journey in 1999, disposable diapers–when they are available–remain a huge expense for an orphanage budget. Those of you traveling to remote regions may still find yourselves being told that diapers are BYO.
And if, as a prospective parent, you have tried to educate yourself on toilet training, you have probably discovered that there are as many views on the subject as there are parenting books and Web sites. The American Academy of Family Physicians advises waiting until the child ready, that is, until she can tell you she has to go or her diaper is wet. That individualism is ideal, but simply not practicable in a group care setting like an under-staffed orphanage.
Does the orphanage toilet training stick once you head home? Some parents have found that it does. I wasn’t among them: We faced 24-hours of travel coming home from Vladivostok and nobody on an airplane is going to let a toddler sit in the bathroom until they feel like going. Plus, I had noticed, while I was visiting the orphanage, that my older son used his potty more as just another means of conveyance. He would scoot around the floor on it, visiting with the other kids. Definitely not the behavior you’d expect to see from somebody who is “ready”. It took about a year after coming home for him to leave the diapers behind during the daytime, and another year to be out of them at night.
There’s a helpful Russian Adoption forum thread going on now on toilet training and another thread on tips to help the late bloomers. And, as always, remember to talk things over with your pediatrician.
