Before I traveled to Russia for my first adoption in 1999, my agency had sent me a video of my older son and a large packet of medical information that had been compiled by the baby home. The situation was much the same in 2004, when I got the referral for my younger son, and the medical information was even more detailed. Yes, there were some worrisome details, and I may write more about them sometime, but I had quite a lot to go on. The journalist in me felt very comforted by all the information I had, and the fact that I could evaluate it at length before I accepted the referral.

But now, because of the upheaval in Russian adoptions, a lot of people are traveling blind--no information on their referral other than perhaps age and gender when they leave the U.S. Why? Some Russian regions have interpreted the Kremlin's recommendations on respecting the privacy of the children in their care to mean that they may allow no information on these children to leave the country. Adoptive parents meet with a child and then have only a few days--or even hours--in which to make a decision on a referral. Jet-lagged, stressed out, and making the most important decision of their lives. As someone who sweated every detail of both referrals, I can't imagine making a decision in those conditions.

Luckily, you don’t have to go it alone. Over the 15-plus years since Russia opened its door to international adoption, several doctors have formed adoption medicine groups around the United States. There are links to many of them here. And in recent years, these clinics have posted a wealth of information online that can help prospective parents understand the information presented to them in a referral.

Go to the Web site for Dr. Dana Johnson's International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota, for example, and you'll find tips on taking pictures and videos of the children who have been referred to you, understanding the medical information in their reports and the medicines they have been given, information on head and body growth and a worksheet for evaluating the child. The Web site for Dr. Julia Bledsoe's Center for Adoption Medicine offers very specific guidelines on photographing a child for an evaluation of the presence of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Many of these doctors also have ways for you to upload information to their Web sites for evaluation while you are abroad.

These sites can make for tough reading. I wondered, as I went through them, whether I could have detached myself from the living, breathing reality of my sons if I had had to gather all this information on them in their presence on our first meeting.

But this is the reality of our lives as adoptive parents, and there cannot be enough help on our journeys.