So with the birthday of one son behind me, I though I'd take a minute to talk about birthdays in Russia. They are a big deal in Russian society at large, although obviously constrained in the orphanages.

First, some ground rules. Russian tradition holds that a birthday is celebrated on or after the honoree's big day, not before. And family presents should be left by the birthday child's bed, so they may wake up to them on birthday day. I started doing that with my older son as soon as he was old enough to understand birthdays, and he always gets a big kick from it.

"Celebrating Birthdays In Russia" from Hilltop Books, gives other tips for a true, Russian-flavored children's birthday. Party guests are allowed to tug on the birthday child's ears once for every year of age. I couldn't figure out how to do this without tears in a larger setting, so we limit the tugger to just Mom. The book also says that children play a song game called Karavai, about a round loaf of bread. I've never been able to find words or music for it, but if anyone has please let me know. The Web site "Little Russia: Children's Songs and Fairy Tales" has the "Birthday Song of Crocodile Gena", which was also on a Russian-language children's karaoke disk that amused my younger son to no end last birthday.

Adult Russian birthday parties, especially milestone birthdays, seem to be cause for far louder singing. Several years ago, while I was still living in New York City, a group of my friends celebrated a birthday at The National, one of the Russian nightclubs in Brighton Beach. We arrived at 8 p.m., and waiters were still bringing us new platters of food (and vodka bottles) well past midnight. There was a floor show featuring Vegas-style dancers, bear-costumed characters singing children's songs, and comedians that were very funny to those guests who spoke Russian. We laughed ourselves hoarse anyway at the sheer absurdity of it all. (Here's another blogger's experience at The National).

In January 2005, when it became clear that my younger son's adoption would not happen in time to celebrate his birthday in America, my older son and I went looking on Epicurious.com for a chocolate cake recipe. I have since found delicious cakes that were far less costly to make than this one, but if you are waiting today for your child to come home, make it and celebrate the birthdays to come.