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OK, now that I’ve told you why I decided to not take my older son along on either of my trips to Sakhalin, I’ll get into what I did to reassure one child at home while reaching out to another one on the other side of the globe.
I decided my parents would look after my older son while I was away, but they would stay at my house, not theirs. Our goofy dog would stay at home, too, and not go to the kennel: If my son needed something to hug, he’d have his dog close by.
As parents of my son’s schoolmates called to see what help I needed, I set up a packed play-date schedule. I talked to his teacher and his principal, so they would know that he might need some perking up along the way.
But the best travel tip I got came from friends who decided to leave their older daughter at home when they traveled to China to adopt their second daughter. World events had already made it a tougher trip than it was going to be: They had been scheduled to fly on September 14, 2001, just days after terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center towers, buildings that they could see from their home, killing nearly 3,000 people.
My friends sat down and created a “waiting chain”. You probably made a chain like this as a holiday decoration when you were a kid, paper links taped one to another. But this chain comes with a twist.
Cut sheets of construction paper in half down the middle, until you have one rectangle for each day you will be away. Be sure to add in your departure day and the day you arrive back home. Fold each of these rectangles down the middle. Then open them up, and write a special message on each. It could be about something going on on your trip, like “Day Two: I leave Moscow to fly another nine hours to Sakhalin Island” or something about life back home, like “Day Three: Remember to follow through on your swing when you bat against the Cardinals.” Fold the rectangles closed, then create and tape the links together.
Hang the chain up, with the first day of your trip at the bottom and your return home on top. Tell your child to detach one link each day. It may not dry all the tears, but it’s a good start.
So tell me, how did you help a child at home wait?
