I was reading this article about a couple that declined their first referral, because ultimately, when they met their little girl, it didn’t feel right to them.

I read about how they went through the process.

Regardless of whether a child is determined to be high- or low-risk for significant health issues, after you’ve met and interacted with the child, you can find yourself making the ultimate decision with your heart and not the medical records.

They were very careful. They hired doctors, videotaped the child for potential medical issues, and studied behavior intently. They’re not the only ones. I know people who have flown a doctor with them to Russia.

When we accepted our referrals, we had two sweet children standing in front of us with very scary medical reports. We knew that the medical reports from Russia weren’t always trustworthy, so when we met the children, we had no idea what to expect.

Basically, we spent three days with the kids, and we didn’t see anything that indicated health problems, other than Bonnie needed vision correction. We went with our gut and accepted the referrals, regardless of the medical reports. We had a good feeling about it, unlike the couple in the article.

When we returned to the U.S., we sent videos of the kids to a pediatrician, and she gave us the thumbs up. But, I have to wonder, can a doctor really diagnose most things over a television screen? Now that Bonnie and Clyde are home, we know for certain that the medical reports were inaccurate.

Did you use an IA doctor when you adopted? Did you take the medical reports seriously?

An aside: This is a great site explaining Russian medical reports, along with suggested tips for approaching medical reports.

1) Gather the facts - information about the pregnancy and delivery, prematurity, numbers and dates (i.e. growth measurements), specific illnesses and diagnoses, specific physical findings, specific lab results and other investigations, developmental milestones.

2) Weigh the facts - Lab results may be unreliable, cranial sonograms are usually over interpreted. Consultant's reports may consist of little more than a series of unsupported and unusual diagnoses. The amount of reliable information available may not be great, so it is better to determine what is trustworthy and interpret this carefully.

3) Integrate other sources of information -Videos are important if available, information and observations of the child by a trusted agency representative are important, etc.

4) Obtain a professional opinion - reports must be interpreted in context, but do not forget that while over diagnosis is common, under diagnosis can be a more serious problem.

5) Request more information if necessary - If yellow flags are apparent in the medical report, now is the opportunity to follow them up. At the same time, vague requests to agencies for more medical information usually yield only a greater volume of worthless material. Consult with your medical advisor and make any requests for further information focussed and realistic. (I have seen apparent problems evaporate by a simple request for repeat head measurements). Remember also that your agency must advocate for two clients. The child is also a client whether they pay the fees or not. Responsible agencies make all efforts to serve both child and prospective parent. Though nerves can become frayed, it is never the case that a reputable agency will intentionally mislead prospective parents.

6) Know yourself and your family - Some prospective parents are willing to accept more uncertainty than others. Some have different expectations. Exploration of these issues is an important part of pre-adoption counseling.