Sharlene's recent post about ODD got me thinking about my little bundle of love, Little J. Little J has some of the characteristics of a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). He is almost 4 1/2, but sometimes he acts like a 2-year-old screaming "no!" at normal requests that shouldn't elicit such a strong response.

Imagine the scene. I am the uber-mom, calm and collected (HAHAHAHA...I do try):

"Little J, it's your turn to set the table."
"No! No! No!"
"Son, it's your turn. Big J did it last night"
"No, you stupid mommy! You're an idiot!" (new word for him: idiot)
"Now you need to sit on the naughty step." I guide him to the step and he sits down. "When you stop yelling at me you need to get up and set the table."
"I hate you!"
He screams and cries for a minute or two, then asks if he can get up.
"You can get up when you're quiet."
He screams some more "I hate yous," and "You're stupid," but then he calms down. After a few more minutes he says "I'm sorry."
"Thank you for saying you're sorry. You can get up."

Don't I sound like a good mommy? I've been trying really hard recently to do things by the book, literally. Some days I pretend like there's a TV crew here filming me, or a social worker following me around. It's what I have to do to keep from clobbering the kids.

That lovely interaction is very, very typical in our house. It happens at least once a day, usually more. And although Little J's behavior has gotten remarkably better since starting the ADHD medication, he still has his moments.

I found a wonderful article in the International Adoption articles directory called "Oppositional Defiant Disorders" by Dr. Art, an attachment therapist who works with children. He defines ODD behaviors this way:

· yelling,
· whining,
· chronic complaining,
· overt and covert defiance,
· screaming,
· temper tantrums,
· throwing objects,
· talking back,
· use of profanity,
· stealing,
· engaging in constantly annoying behavior,
· ignoring requests,
· physically resisting,
· failure to complete routine chores,
· destroying property, physical fights with others,
· failure to complete school homework,
· disrupting other activities, and
· ignoring self care tasks are all common behaviors exhibited by children with ODD.

Some of these things sound very familiar. Some, thankfully, don't. In my little scenario Little J demonstrated a lot of them: talking back, profanity (I consider "idiot" and "I hate you" profanity in a 4 year old), tantruming, screaming, definitely defiance, etc. etc. He also is an expert at "engaging in constantly annoying behavior." Oy.

Go to part 2.