Continued from part 1:

How to fix it, however? Here's what she suggests:

Think of him as an anxious and frightened baby who can’t self-soothe. Provide a consistent, predictable pattern to the day. Structure his activities, and make a special effort to help him organise himself using structure, lists, reminders and plenty of time for planning.

Help him to settle by limiting the time he spends at exciting, physical play and by getting him involved in some calming activities – activities such as reading, doing puzzles, playing with playdough. Time with a parent is usually very soothing, holding, touching or just by your side helping, chatting, or even sitting. Keep him quietly with you for as long as you can manage. If you can only manage a couple of minutes of quiet to start with, that’s OK – you can work on lengthening the periods. I say, quite directly, to my son “You need some quiet time now, your brain’s having difficulty calming down”.

When he flies off the handle over something trivial, don’t argue with him. Remember, you can’t reason with someone who’s frightened – wait ‘til later, when he’s settled. Be sympathetic but firm, and stay calm. A display of anger and strong emotion will escalate the situation. Try – as much as you can - to keep your demands on him low.

Learn to read the signs that he’s getting out of control, and stop him before he escalates. Help him learn to self-monitor. His environment needs, ideally, to be low on stress and stimulation and high on parental contact and calm.

I find this really interesting, largely because I have read similar discussions about similar symptoms on websites about ADHD, about Sensory Integration Dysfunction, about Attachment problems - you name it. All say wacth out - your child may be misdiagnosed as having X when really it's Y or Z! And all have different treatment suggestions for these behaviors. There's even this website: "50 Conditions that Mimic ADHD", if you really want to confuse yourself.

I'm not suggesting that Ms. Jeffrey's advice is bad advice. No doubt many children fit that mold. But I'm wondering, from the perspective of a parent who's been there with an out-of-control child who is frankly, absolutely no fun to be around unless you literally want to wrestle 24-7, that the "alternatives" to ADHD are just as fuzzy in terms of diagnosis and treatment as actual ADHD seems to be (at least in some minds). If you have a child with these symptoms I think you should explore what she says...if you haven't already.