Early this month, Rebecca at the Viet Nam Adoption Blog had a solid, sensible post on five basic steps to talk to your child about adoption. They are the framework for discussion in my house, too. But we've been having an interesting conversation recently that I'd like to share with you, in a somewhat paraphrased form.

My older son has known for a long time that I picked him, and we have a somewhat fanciful story about what it was about him that compelled me to choose him. But a week or so ago, he began to ask questions about the mechanics of adoption. So here are some of those questions, and the way I handled them.

What's an adoption agency? It's a group of people who have learned a lot about how to bring children and moms and dads together for the right family. They have to learn about other countries--the way people live there and their language. They have to learn about a lot of laws to make sure they are doing the adoption the right way.

What did they make you do? I had to answer a lot of questions, about what kind of person I was, and what kind of mom I would be. I had to tell them about my family, my town and my house. I had to tell them where I worked, and they asked my boss if I was a good worker. I had to get fingerprinted over and over and over again, and carry a great big folder of information with me when I went to Russia.

Were you scared when you went to Russia? Sometimes, because I was so far from home, and because I didn't understand Russian as well as you did. But I knew that I had come to Russia to do something important--to bring you home--so that made me less scared. And I had lots of people helping me to not be scared.

What was it like to be in Russia? It was exciting--and exhausting. There were many new and different things to see, things that I had only read about in books. I was very nervous about meeting you, and wondered whether you would like me or be afraid of me. But I was very tired because I had to travel so far and because daytime here is nighttime in Russia. My body was very confused. Once I woke up thinking it was time for breakfast, but it was really bedtime.

Did it cost you a lot of money? Yes it did. I had to pay for people to make copies of the papers I needed, and I had to pay for people to turn documents that were written in English into Russian. I had to pay people to take those documents around to all sorts of different people in the United States and Russia, to get their approval. I had to pay to travel to Russia. I paid for lots of people to help me get you, but I did not pay for you.