So, a couple of days ago I told you all that my in-laws will be here soon (8 days to go!), but there's another important day also coming up this month: Family Day.

Family Day is a holiday I made up. Basically, it's around the time of the anniversary of Little J's adoption, which is what we're actually celebrating, but it's really an excuse to have a big party where we invite everyone we know to come over and have a good time. We have food, music, and a bonfire at night, and we also ask everyone to bring a little money to donate to whatever cause we want to raise money for. Last year it was to buy a sheep for the Hope Family Commune (a self-sustaining non-profit orphanage in Siberia); the year before that it was Shoes for Orphan Souls, which collects shoes for kids in orphanages all over the world.

Last night we talked a little about Family Day at the dinner table and then the boys and I sat down at the computer to pick a charity. I needed to get the invitations out 5 days ago and the invitations usually say a little about whatever charity we're donating to, so we really needed to finish this task.

When we were looking at the projects I was overwhelmed by the needs of the children in the orphanages. I was also underwhelmed by my children's response.

Unlike Sandra's compassionate son, my two boys don't seem to have an ounce. Big J used to be compassionate - he was very affected by the stories from the tsunami and he helped me put together what we could for the Red Cross. He also collected things for the Katrina victims and has given some of his own money to help whenever there are fund drives at school.

But Big J's compassion went out the window. And Little J also didn't give a fig.

Now, I could explain to Little J that the kids in the orphanage could be him if we hadn't adopted him, but I don't think that's really fair. After all, we didn't adopt him to rescue a child, but because we wanted another child in our family. He does not need to feel grateful to us for his adoption.

But still, you'd think he could muster up some feeling for kids who don't have everything he has...but no. His little 4 year old self is thinking memememememe! and he's not at the point where he sees beyond.

While we were looking at possibilities for our charity, they spent most of the time arguing about what they would want if someone raised money for them: vitamins? Nah. Playground equipment? Sure. A new refrigerator for the orphanage? Nah...finally I gave up on them and decided myself.

One big point of Family Day is to teach my children to think of others. But they seem to be missing the point. It didn't help that at dinner my husband wrinkled up his nose when I said we needed to pick a charity. He doesn't like asking our friends for money, I guess. But I explained to him that he needed to support me in this. How will our kids learn about giving if all they see is their parents thinking only of themselves?