Yesterday morning was a typical one in our house. Mom and Dad get up, kids get up, Mom makes kids breakfast, Dad goes to work.

It's like we're the Cleavers or something!

But then something not-very-50s sitcom happens, like my youngest one doesn't eat...and doesn't eat...and doesn't eat....

Instead, he talks, or pokes his brother, or looks out the window, or jumps up from the breakfast table to run around the house, or decides he needs to hug Mommy or scream at the cat or go to the bathroom. He doesn't play with toys (because they're not allowed at the table) but he would, if he could. He is told over and over and over again that if he does not finish by a specific time then he will have his food whisked away...

Finally, time's up.

"I'm going to count to 3," I say. "When I say 3 I'll take your bowl away. We have to leave."

Little J, who up until this point has CARED LESS about his breakfast (see above description), starts shoveling in his food as fast as he possibly can. He probably fits 1/2 cup of scrambled eggs into his mouth. Then he takes his two vitamins and shoves those in and finally, takes an enormous gulp of water. I realize at the last minute that he's going to try to swallow the entire mess whole...

He swallows some of it, but it comes right back up. Plus what he'd already eaten. All over his school clothes, the floor, and his shoes.

"I HATE YOU MOMMY!" he screams, his mouth full of regurgitated eggs. "YOU MADE ME THROWED UP!"

"Get changed," is all I can say, and apparently he can tell I mean it because he trots right upstairs to get new clothes on.

He comes down, still fuming, but by the time we pick up our carpool friend. Ben, he's very proud of himself.

"I throwed up," he boasts.

"Oh, I did that last week," says Ben.

Nice, I think, and stick in a children's music CD in the hopes of distracting them. It doesn't work. They talk about vomiting all the way to school.

When we get to pre-k I quietly tell one of Little J's teachers about his barfing episode, explaining that I'm sure it's not because he's sick, but because HE STUFFED HIS ENTIRE BREAKFAST IN HIS MOUTH AND TRIED TO SWALLOW IT WHOLE. She nods and winks. I am quiet about it because I don't want Little J to think it's a big deal...I'm really hoping the discussion is over.

No such luck.

"I throwed up!" he announces to his entire pre-k class, who are seated at the snack tables, ready for morning snack. "It was eggs!"

For one little girl this was too much. It was her first day at school and maybe she is nervous, maybe truly sick, but she gags and throws up what looks like digested breakfast cereal all over the table.

"Hey, you throwed up, too!" says Little J. They will be bonded forever...


Picture credit.