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Right now in the Russian Adoption forum on adoption.com there are a couple of posts about Attachment Parenting techniques and the newly adopted child. For those of you who aren’t in the know, a practitioner of Attachment Parenting holds or wears the baby as much as possible, picks the baby up when he/she cries, sleeps with the baby, breastfeeds the baby, and does everything possible to make sure the baby feels completely secure.
The term, “Attachment Parenting” was coined by Dr. Bill Sears though a series of books about good parenting practices. Through parenting 8 children with his wife, Martha Sears, as well as through his pediatric practice, he came up with a name to promote the bonding and attachment of a child to its parents. They have a website: Ask Dr. Sears, in case you want to learn more.
Now, I am not against Attachment Parenting at all, especially when it comes to adopted children. Children who’ve spent all or part of their lives in an institution need to catch up on all that good love and holding time and attachment. I firmly believe that just like a little bitty baby, newly adopted children (even older ones) can’t be spoiled by too much love. Carry that kid ’til you get a backache. Let the child drink from a bottle while nestled in your arms…even if they’re 3 years old. Sleep in the bed or near the bed so they know mommy and daddy are always there.
But don’t go so far with this so that you burn out. Being a parent, especially if it’s your first go-round, is exhausting, mentally and physically. If you need a break take it. Hand the baby off to your husband…or your grandma. If you can’t sleep with kids in your bed…then you need to figure something else out. Get some space. Bathe alone (if you’re a true AP you will also bathe with your child). Give yourself a break.
You have to attach, too, after all, and you can’t do that if you’re feeling resentful and tired. Share the love!
