Russia Adoption, Russian Adoption Blog - Another Year Of Kindergarten

06/02/07

Another Year Of Kindergarten

Posted by : Virginia M. Citrano in Russia Adoption Blog at 07:04 pm , 374 words, 158 views
Categories: Ages and stages, School days, Older Children

I've asked my kids' elementary school to give my little guy another year of kindergarten.

It was not an easy choice. He has come amazingly far--physically, socially and developmentally--since coming home from Sakhalin Island less than two years ago. Just being in an educational setting for several hours a day was a big leap for him. Remember that children in Russia--in orphanages or out--don't start school until they are seven. And I learned in April that there are no major problems that would qualify him for an individualized education plan.

From all that I've read on the various Russian adoption chat boards and forums, school issues cause as much loss of sleep as evaluating medical referrals. And it's not just among those of us who have adopted older children (my little guy was four months short of his fifth birthday when he came to America). There was a long thread on the Russia Adoption forum two months ago about how and when to make the transition from pre-school to kindergarten for kids who have been here since they were toddlers.

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Many adoptive parents seem to feel that the questions of when to start schooling and what grade to put a child in are something that only they have to answer. They aren't. There is a wide trend among parents of bio sons to ignore chronological age and hold these boys out of school for a year until they are developmentally ready. I have given up on buying those "Congratulations, You're 7!"-type cards at birthday time because it was too hard to keep track of the age ranges in my kids classes. And of the five children I know who will also get another year of kindergarten, only one was adopted.

There is no right answer in all this: You go with your gut. And mine was telling me that, while my little guy is a whiz in math, his phonics skills were not where they should be for reading-intensive first grade. I'm a bit worried that his behavior will regress a bit around younger kids, and that he may be bored when they do math. But my gut says that, by this time next year, he's going to be the best reader in kindergarten.

6 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: soblessed [Member]

As a speech therapist working in the public school, I see A LOT of kids who don't get held back who should. The extra year for those who need it seems to really be helpful. The trick is knowing who needs it. For the most part, all things being equal, I find that the parents are generally pretty on target in terms of knowing where their child is functioning.

And the core curriculum keeps getting harder and harder and harder.

The other aspect I always point out is that some kids, even if they do well in one skill or another, they are just not developmentally ready to move on to first grade. This can follow them as they go from grade to grade as the demands get progressively harder and more intense. IF they enter each grade not quite ready for the curriculum, then you are asking them to always be on, always concentrate intently, always study as hard as they can just to try to understand content that is a little harder than they're ready for. Would you want to sign up for a job where the work was ALWAYS just a little harder than you can handle? Would you want to do it for the next 12 years? That's similar to what we ask children to do when we move them to the next grade before they're ready.

He can always get an advanced placement/tutoring for math.

Even if his social skills/maturity stays a year behind his age, that is the age that the kids in his classes will be from now on, kwim? So, if at 7 years old in first grade, he's acting like a 6 year old, so are the kids he's in class with.

Good luck to your lil guy! I'm sure he'll do great next year :)

Permalink 06/02/07 @ 20:07

Comment from: arkangels [Member]

· www.arkangels.org

We went back and forth about having our twins (adopted at 21 months) repeat preschool. When they were 5 and finishing preschool they were meeting most of their developmental goals. But they were just meeting them, and both kids were a little behind in some areas. So we made the hard decision and had them repeat this past year. When September rolled around I was worried that we made the wrong decision, that they wouldn't be challenged enough. But now that they have finished that extra year of preschool, I am so glad that we made the hard decision and kept them back. They grew so much in the last year. And they gained a confidence in themselves and their own abilities that is worth more than anything else. I am so glad that we had the guts to give them the opportunity to succeed.

On a similar note, the teachers at their preschool never said we should keep them back. But once we made the decision to do it, they all said it was "the greatest gift" we could ever give them!

Permalink 06/02/07 @ 20:35

Comment from: Faith Allen [Member]

· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/

I support you completely. My son is graduating kindergarten next week, and there is a boy in his class who could use another year. He was not adopted -- he is just immature and not ready to read at the level of his peers.

I have never met a parent who regretted holding a child back at a young age. I have met several who regret NOT holding them back. Unfortunately, some of the parents who sent the child on wound up realizing that it was a mistake in third grade, when it is much harder on the child to repeat a grade.

In my opinion, if you are on the fence, err on the side of holding him back. Boys mature slower than girls, and, as you mentioned, there are other issues as well. Nothing bad comes from letting him be a little boy for a little bit longer.

Take care,

- Faith

Permalink 06/02/07 @ 21:50

Comment from: Cindy Bodie [Member]

· http://older-child.adoptionblogs.com

I've done this several times with some of my children and never regretted it. Truthfully I wish I'd held some of the other ones back as well.

Permalink 06/03/07 @ 04:30

Comment from: Virginia M. Citrano [Member]

· http://russia.adoptionblogs.com/

Thanks for all the support!

Permalink 06/03/07 @ 06:09

Comment from: soblessed [Member]

At one point when I was dating DH, his mom told me she was adamant that she wanted him to wait a year to enter Kindergarten, that he was emotionally and developmentally not ready for Kindergarten. But, her husband and the teachers at school insisted that he start Kindergarten at 5 years old (birthday in August). He struggled all through school, got a diploma by the skin of his teeth and went into business with his dad as an electrician. This worked well for him until he moved here to marry me. NOw, he has a hard time finding a job that will give him insurance, much less a tad more than 7.15/hour. It's been a real struggle, especially as we add a child (two?) to the mix.

Permalink 06/03/07 @ 09:36

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