I'm often asked about adopting two children at one time. Would I recommend adopting two children?

Of course, my answer is YES, because I wouldn't give up either of my kids for anything in the world. But, my "yes" answer comes with a few warnings.

Someone left a comment on my personal blog that said one child is like one and two is like ten. I think there's some truth to that. It's a lot of energy, a lot of activity, and a lot of sleep deprivation. If you're like us, and these are your first children, its a huge shock to go from zero to two.

I... more

I was reading this article about a couple that declined their first referral, because ultimately, when they met their little girl, it didn’t feel right to them.

I read about how they went through the process.

Regardless of whether a child is determined to be high- or low-risk for significant health issues, after you’ve met and interacted with the child, you can find yourself making the ultimate decision with your heart and not the medical... more

Rather than copy or rewrite the information on this great thread on the FRUA message board, I suggest you go and read the whole thing, especially the posts written by "Jim," who seems to reall know what's going on.

In a nutshell, it looks like the agencies that have gotten caught up in the reaccreditation/NGO mess are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The regulations governing reaccreditation have been revised to include the NGO registration information and so those agencies that have lost their reaccreditation and which have NGO status should be able to start satisfying their reaccreditation processes soon.

Whew!... more

This weekend when I manned the FRUA booth at the SPAFA expo a lot of people asked me questions.

Did your adoption go smoothly? How is your son doing now? Is it possible to know if a child is "healthy"? Do you know if his birth parents drank alcohol? How was the adjustment? How long did it take? Did you like your agency? How was the travel? How was the food? Why was he in the orphanage? How long had he been there? Did he have any delays?... more

My life these days feels as if it's in limbo. I am looking for a job halfheartedly, waiting to see if I get one so I can either start or put aside new writing projects. I spend a lot of my day going aimlessly from one task to the next. I try to be productive but it's hard to do so when surrounded with all this endless waiting.

This is nothing, however, compared to those of you waiting for your child. I've got my two boys, and whether or not I'm waiting for a 3rd is its own little limbo-filled situation. Mostly I spend my day waiting for them to get home... more

When people talk about adopting from Russia they often say things like, 'we had to wait for her to get off the database,' or, 'we'll get the first referral off the database that fits our criteria.' That's what we said about Little J - he was the first referral off the database that fit our age and health criteria after we sent in our dossier. Actually, he wasn't off the database when he was referred to us (he had 3 weeks left) but because of his age (14 months) and sex (male) they were pretty sure he'd be available when it was time to adopt. In any case, we didn't... more

The very last place that felt like "foreign soil" to me was the first place we went when our plane landed in the U.S. when we came home with Little J. It was the Immigration and Naturalization Service at JFK airport in New York.

Yes, we were in New York. The guards and facilitators in Customs made that very clear, both with their accents and their attitudes, but it was the last hurdle we needed to get through to get our baby home - to be free. Once we were passed through the desks at the INS we could go anywhere or do anything, including catching our flight home to Raleigh. Or not.... more

Yesterday was the last time we'll ever have a visit from Joanne, the social worker that's followed us along as we've become parents to Little J. She did our home study, visiting us in our old house, then did all of our post-placements. She wasn't the person who gave us our referral for Little J or who processed our paperwork, but she's been the one who gave us the okay to adopt. She's been in our house. She's seen how we live.

In case you're wondering, post-placement visits are rather painless. Once you've been through the homestudy you will have no problem with the post-placements,... more

Almost every adoption experience involving adoption from Russia involves gifts for the orphanage. This is actually harder than it seems, as gifts for the orphanage involves gifts for the orphanage workers, for the doctors, and for the multitude of people who process your paperwork along the way. And don't forget your translator, your driver, and your facilitator, who should all be properly thanked. In Russia, that means a big Bolshoi Spasiba as well as a very nice present.

Russia has a gift-giving culture. It is very normal to bring a small gift when you visit someone... more

It is forbidden for adoption agencies who do Russian adoptions to post photos of children available for adoption. Apparently they're not legally allowed to show parents referral photos or medical information, either, although many of them find a way to do it. It gives people great comfort to have a picture of their referral and I honestly don't see what the problem is, but apparently the Russian government thinks differently.

I find this a little ironic, actually, because last year the Russian government posted the biggest photolisting website of all in an effort to get Russian people... more