Little J is quiet now. After hitting his brother, almost launching a huge metal truck at his 2 year old cousin (intercepted by yours truly) and having a screaming, crying fit, I finally made him take a nap.

He does not typically do this easily.

But he must have really needed it, because for the first time in a long, long while he didn't fight me when I put him in bed, nor did he scream and yell once he was in there, nor did he get out five or six times before finally settling down. No, he was put to bed and he's stayed in bed. He was tired.

One reason he was so tired is that since... more

This is a continuation, of sorts, of my two previous posts about our visit to a behavioral therapist to try to address some of Little J’s more challenging behaviors. The clinical social worker that we saw, Ms. K, listened to our situation and gave us lots of information and parenting tips to apply to our family life. She also said that all was not lost, that Little J was doing well (all things considered - like the fact that he lived in an institution for 8 of his most formative months and may have been prenatally exposed to alcohol) and that given more time we’d see even more improvement... more

In my last post I talked about our trip to visit Ms. K, a Clinical Social Worker with an interest in adopted children. Here’s what Ms. K told us about Little J:

The good news is she didn't think we needed to come back to see her. We really liked her but she was rather pricey and with our crummy insurance the co-pay would be brutal - not to mention her office is an hour from our house.

She also gave us some strategies for dealing with his behaviors. One, the potty-training and oppositional... more

So - FINALLY we have been in to see someone to help us with Little J's behavior. It took about 2 months, one accidentally missed appointment and a kind phone call for Dr. Walters at Duke's International Adoption Clinic to put is in touch with a lovely Clinical Social Worker whom I'll call Ms. K.

The ironic thing is that when we tried to get in to see someone Little J's behavior was at its very worst. I think I started making phone calls the Monday after the weekend that Little J spent practically the entire weekend on the naughty step or in his room (so I wouldn't murder him... more

As parents we worry. We want the best for our children and there's so much in the world we can't control. What happens to them when they're out of our sight, what decisions they make, who they encounter (good and bad) - these are all things our children have to deal with on their own. They're all things we can't sheild them from, not if we want them to become independent people.

As adoptive parents, perhaps we worry a little more. Not only can we not sheild them from life in the big, outside world, but we also had no control over their beginnings. Someone else carried our children. Maybe she cared for her unborn child and treated her body well, but maybe she didn't, or couldn't. Many... more

Good thing I use a thinly veiled psuedonym for Little J, otherwise when he gets old enough to read (or old enough so that girls start Googling his name), hopefully he'll never find this blog! At least not after what I'm about to tell you.

Little J has been pooping in his pants. A little background, before you start telling me that it's all part of potty training: Little J has been (daytime) potty trained for over a year now, and for the first 8 months of it he rarely had a mistake. If he did, it was usually the he-was-so-busy he peed in his pants variety. Then, about 4 months ago,... more

For months now there have been rumors floating around about problems with the reaccreditation of some of the agencies that handle adoption from Russia - and for months, those agencies have denied any problem. Well, it seems like the day has come that the agencies and hopeful parents have been dreading: a definite hold-up in the reaccreditation process is here.

In order for an agency to facilitate adoptions in Russia it must be accredited, and for many agencies this has been thought to be a simple matter. They've complied with the rules and regulations put forth by the Russian Ministry of Education... more

Several weeks ago I posted about the gold star system we were using with Little J to try and correct some of his unpleasant behaviors. I am pleased to report that the gold stars, in combination with my excellent parenting (wink), as well as the passage of time and Little J's increasing maturity, have resulted in GREATLY improved behavior. We are having a much happier time in our house these days.

I also don't think it was mere coincidence that we saw an increase in bad behavior around the time that... more

Now, this is not a problem we have in our house...yet. Big J didn't have this issue, except for the adjustment period while we got him potty-trained at night, and Little J is still wearing pull-ups to bed. We have tried to start night-time training with Little J but it was FAR TOO EXCITING for him. Each time we've tried, he's run to the bathroom every five minutes, yelling down the stairs that he was doing so, and would not go to sleep. It's like we gave him permission to get out of bed. Every time we've tried this we've had to tell him that potty-training at night was over and he wasn't... more

Pam P., from EEAC's PEP list, posted the following a while back about her success with gluten-free eating and her children, who have all been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Related disorders. I found it really interesting because I happen to be gluten intolerant myself (only recently discovered and diagnosed and I also have along family history of alcoholism on both sides of my family.

This isn't really the place for me to get into the whole gluten intolerance thing, but let's just say that this treatment seems completely plausible to me. For people who are... more