Today I feel like probably the most inept parent in the world. Obviously I'm exaggerating, but still, I know I did things wrong this morning (as I do every morning) and I'd love some advice. I am going to present you with three scenarios and I'd like to know what you think I should have done (I'll spare you what I actually did, although rest assured in all three situations it involved me either screaming, spanking, retreating to my room to cool off, or crying, among other things...and in one case, all three. All before 8 a.m.) Scenarios 1 and 3 are par the norm around here. Scenario... more

Working mom vs. Stay-at-home mom. Who's right? Who's doing irrevocable harm to her family or her future?

Does anyone really care?

I don't. Not really. Although I do have some opinions on the matter, which I'll share with you soon. But really I'm just trying to stir up a little controversy here to get some attention in the very crowded blogging world!

Here's the deal. I was raised by a working mother. My mom had 5 kids, an unemployed husband, and a PhD. It was only natural that she contribute to the household income (cuz if she didn't we wouldn't have had any... more

Right now in the Russian Adoption forum on adoption.com there are a couple of posts about Attachment Parenting techniques and the newly adopted child. For those of you who aren't in the know, a practitioner of Attachment Parenting holds or wears the baby as much as possible, picks the baby up when he/she cries, sleeps with the baby, breastfeeds the baby, and does everything possible to make sure the baby feels completely secure.

The term, "Attachment Parenting" was coined by Dr. Bill Sears though a series of books... more

Okay, folks - this is a pure and simple vent about something that happened last night that really bugged me. Don't worry, I will post something very Russian-adoption-specific next. I don't want to go to far off topic.

Actually, this is kind of on topic, because while adopting from Russia has some specific procedures and ins-and-outs and there are wonderful cultural elements to explore, in the end, if you adopt from Russia (or from anywhere, for that matter), you are a parent. And if you're a parent then sooner or later you will probably come up against a situation like the one... more

Yesterday, Little J told me the story of his adoption.

Him: "When I was a baby I lived in your tummy and then you went to the hospital and I came out and then you adopted me, right?"

Me: "Um, that's not really how it went."

Him: "Oh yeah. Then you went to Russia and went to the hospital and I came out and you adopted me."

(Big J, playing with Legos nearby, sniffs at the silliness of this conversation but blessedly, chooses to keep out of it for once).

Me: "Well, you weren't in my tummy, you were in your Russian mother's tummy. Then you came out. She... more

On Newsweek.com there's a very poignant article about an adoptive mother who realized that in order for her daughters to be happy and have closure, she needed to acknowledge their past life in Russia. In fact, in order for them to get peace in their lives she realized they needed to return to Russia to visit the relatives they left behind. The article is in the "My Turn" section of Newsweek. It's called "We Didn't Need the Past -- Or So I Thought."

The writer and her husband adopted their two daughters, ages 10 and 13, five... more

Yo, ho, heave ho. Yo, ho, heave ho. Something something something something...

And that's all I remember of "The Song of the Volga Boatmen," practically the first song I learned on the piano when I started playing at age 6. I looked up the lyrics of the song to include in this blog, but I think I played a very Americanized version because the translated lyrics did not go along with my memories.

In any case, the Volga river runs right through the Russian oblast of Volgograd so perhaps the song of my childhood started there as well.... more

This subject came up on one of the Russian Adoption listservs that I read regularly: what to do to make the transition to childcare, preschool, or school easier for your newly adopted child? I think there was some great advice given on the list, so I'm going to paraphrase it here.

But first, let me tell you what we did. Now, I am lucky enough so that when we adopted Little J I was only working part-time and I was working at a job that let me have unlimited leave/flex hours. I did not get paid for the hours I didn't work, but as long as we could swing it financially they let me stay... more

My husband never wanted to be a dad. It wasn't that he was against the idea (I made sure of that before we got married), it's just that he'd never really given it any thought. I'd ask him things like "how many kids did you imagine having when you were younger?" and he'd answer "I don't know. I never thought about it. I don't think I ever thought about having a family."

Don't get me wrong, when we had Big J he was a proud papa, if not in a slightly bewildered what-have-I-gotten-into way. And when we were trying to get pregnant with baby number 2 he was as determined to have second... more

Read part 1 here.

Little J would stand up in his crib and yell and yell and yell...but it was only when we bit the bullet and quit going in to check on him that the yelling stopped.

Once he learned to climb out of the crib we had to buy one of those crib nets, and once he was too big for the crib (actually, he learned to undo his crib net and then climb out) and we went to a toddler bed we were back to an extended bed time ritual once again. He'd get out of bed, we'd put him back. Five, six, seven... more