Little J is going through a phase: he’s stopped eating.

Well, not really, but it sometimes seems like it. He certainly doesn’t eat very much and he’s grown suddenly picky. For the amount of activity he does in a day he doesn’t seem to get adequate calories, and the kinds of food he craves aren’t exactly healthy. When we serve lunch, for example, and we have a sandwich, grapes, and a handful of chips, we have to give him the chips last (while the rest of us get them with our meal) or he will only eat the chips and be finished with the meal. Withholding the... more

Yesterday I profiled an interesting book that I'd like to read: The Ghost in the House: Mothering, Raising Children, and Struggling with Depression, by Tracy Thompson. In it, she explains that one contributing factor to depression in mothers is the isolation in which we live in modern society. I got a couple of comments to my review that affirmed... more

I was just sent a link to a wonderful article on speech and language acquisition in children adopted from Eastern Europe. I've read many articles like this and the reason I like this one a lot is twofold: one, it's succinct, and two, it's immensely supportive of the adoptive parent.

It's about time! I'm feeling a little undersupported these days.

Here's the article in a nutshell:

Readers, I need help with a parenting dilemma. You see, Little J will often ask people for food - even right after he's eaten a full meal OR if he's refused to eat the (healthy) food I've given him. I don't like when he does that. I was taught it's bad manners. But I'm not sure if it's as big a deal as I'm making it.

There are a couple of things that could be going on here. First, when Little J came to us at 15 months he was malnourished and severely anemic. I had been given a list of what they'd fed him in the orphanage and while we were in Russia I... more

I cannot tell you how many times people have said this to me in reference to Little J. I never know how to answer them. I mean, the obvious answer is "Well, he is one of our family," but then the person who uttered the offending phrase feels compelled to say something like: "You know what I mean!" Then they usually turn red or say sorry or something like that. Then I feel bad, because they really didn't mean anything by it but now I've made them aware of the dumb thing they've just said...and meanwhile I'm the QUEEN of putting my foot in my mouth.

I am not anyone who should be... more

Last week I wrote about a really crummy morning I had and I asked people to tell me what they would have done in that scenario. I got so many responses that I want to make this a weekly thing. It really brings people out of the woodwork, for better or for worse.

All of the scenarios below have happened, although not necessarily to me and my boys. They might happen in the future, though, so I'd love to have feedback as to what to do. All three scenarios involve LYING. Lying in adopted children is a bit more complicated than lying in non-adoptive children: it may or may not be related... more

Adopting a baby can be tremendously isolating. Not only has your life changed dramatically by adding a child, but it's likely that you, as new mother (or your spouse or partner...but typically it's the mother) has had to rearrange your work schedule by possibly quitting or cutting back hours or arranging to work at home, or even simply by taking a few weeks off to be home with your new child. Add to this your change in status with your friends and the sheer demands that a child brings to your life and you have a potentially depressing and possibly dangerous situation on your hands.

When... more

Right now Little J is by my side, weeping. It's 6:45 a.m. and he just woke up, walked into my office, and started screaming at me. I made him leave the room and do it over, but to no avail.

He was up LATE last night. Not sure how late, because my husband and I went to bed at 9:45 or so. He was put to bed at 7:45, his normal time, after a decent, calm evening: a half-hour nature TV show with Daddy, a shower, a story, a lay-down, and then lights-out. He was probably a little hungry because he refused dinner but oh well.

He is often in a cruddy mood...but yesterday I came upon... more

This is the second part to my follow-up to my crummy morning. To read about said crummy morning, click here. To read part 1 of my follow-up, click here.

So what did I do when I found out my little guy had peed on his brother's bedroom floor?

I became infuriated. I spanked him and made him clean it up, and then screamed at him. I put him in his room. I went to my room and lay... more

Yesterday I posted about the cruddy morning I had with my kids. I begged for some advice from others as I was certain I had handled it poorly.

Today I want to tell you what I actually did in the three situations and then I'll tell you what I think I should have done. You may or may not agree. I don't know if I agree. But whatever. Comments are welcome.

(You may also be asking: Adrienne, what the heck does this have to do with Russian adoption? I've said it before and I'll say it... more