In my Hoping to Adopt blog my last post was about the difficulty in finding happy stories about adoption in the news. It seems like all anyone wants to write about are horror stories - disruptions, biological parents returning to claim the child, paperwork filed incorrectly, scams. I did finally find one hopeful adoption story on page 34 of Google's News search (as long as I took out the word "Madonna") but that's it.

So I'm looking elsewhere... more

Yes, sometimes hippos need psychological intervention, too.

Ha ha. Just kidding. Hippotherapy = Therapeutic Horseback Riding. It's helpful for people with mobility issues, as the movement of the horse mimics the movement of walking, and it's also good for children with sensory issues, language problems, balance or hearing discrepancies, among others. Here's a link to the American Hippotherapy Association, if you'd like to read more.

I've thought about signing Little J up for some hippotherapy,... more

I have just been struck with the most surprising conviction! It's this: if we adopt a second time, it will probably be from Russia again.

Here's why it's surprising: for the past 8 months I've been writing this almost-daily blog about Russian adoption. I haven't covered all aspects of adoption from Russia, but I certainly have covered a lot of them. I have read and read and read about Russian adoption until my eyeballs have felt like they were going to fall out - scholarly articles, blogs, horror stories, happy stories, etc.

Meanwhile, a couple of months... more

So yesterday I wrote a post about spacing your kids. I mentioned that our boys are spaced 3ish years apart and although spacing your children when adopting from Russia isn't an exact science it certainly is doable, as long as you're somewhat flexible.

I have 2 boys kind of near in age...if we got another I think we'd space them further apart. One, to give Little J some space, and two, to give us time to think and work on the idea of a 3rd child. The first time... more

There's a conversation going on right now on the FRUA boards about how long people waited before adopting a second time. In other words, how are people spacing their children? And why are they making those decisions about spacing?

With Russian adoption you can only be so precise in terms of spacing your children. You can specify a range of ages (like - up to 15 months, between 3 and 4, youngest child possible, etc.) but the higher the range you specify, the more varied age of child you might get. Then there... more

The International Adoptee Congress is looking for members. If you are an adult adoptee, please think about joining. They are looking for members from all placing countries, so adult adoptees from Russia are very welcome to join (although I'm not sure how many of them there are...)

Here's their mission statement:

The International Adoptee Congress (IAC) is a newly established membership organization made up of internationally adopted persons.

The US Citizenship and Immigration Services reports that US parents adopt over 22,000 children annually from over three-dozen countries. Additionally, the Child Welfare League in 2003 reported that there has been a... more

Here's the link: "Adoptions Honor Fallen Marine Son."

Mark and Karen Zook lost their son, Ian, two years ago in Iraq. To honor him, they adopted two children from Russia, Anya and Alexander, both 12. The Zooks had always thought about adopting, but when their son was killed in Iraq it cemented their desire.

The used the benefits they got from the government associated with his death to help fund the adoption.

Run for your lives!

Ha ha - just kidding about running for our lives, although not about my in-laws impending arrival. They will be here in a mere 9 days...soon to be 8...then 7...then 6...then before we know it they'll be here. With their coolers of food (they bring all their own food...sigh) and their golf clubs at the ready.

I really like my in-laws but of course, since they aren't "my" people, I'm not entirely comfortable the way I am with my "own" family. Perhaps that seems like a really stupid thing for an adoptive parent to say, but I'm not... more

After a bad sleep the night before we piled into the van and went back to the orphanage the next morning.

The weather that day was very much like the weather is today: clear, cool, breezy. It made me think of New England, where I spent a lot of my childhood. We were able to enjoy the drive out a little more than the drive the day earlier. We still had some anxieties but my decision, at least, had been made.

Yuri was brought to us outside this time, since it was so beautiful. We played on the playground outside the orphanage. I'm not sure that... more

On the ride back to town our translator asked how we liked Yuri. We told her we liked him very much but we were concerned. He didn't walk. He didn't talk. We'd known there would be delays but we didn't know if that was too much of a delay. What did it mean?

We went back to the hotel and then out to eat. When we returned our facilitator was waiting for us with the translator. What were we thinking! She demanded. Did we want this child or not!

This was one of those times when it was hard to overlook the Russian way of speaking. I think it is just how they talk, but we felt yelled at. We were feeling pressured. Our social worker had told us that we should never feel pressured,... more