There have been so many gains in the world of adopting from Russia lately--the 12 agencies accredited, the promise of more to come soon--so many gains that loss seems almost unthinkable. But loss is what I have to write about now.

This week, one of the brightest voices in the Russian adoption blog world lost her referral. This wasn't an abstract, paper loss: Suz--you may know her by her blog title, "Russian Adoption Dva"--had been to Russia twice to be with this little girl. She... more

Recently, somebody I know asked me if I would talk to somebody they knew about adopting an older child from Russia, a child this person had found on an adoption photolisting site.

I hesitated.

Not because I don't like talking about adoption. I love talking about adoption from Russia and I will talk with anyone about it anytime. Heck, I write the equivalent of a book about it every month on this Web site.

Not because the person was considering an older child. The younger of my two sons was nearly five when he came home from... more

Whether you are a prospective adoptive parent needing motivation because Moscow is taking so long to sign off on the re-accreditations or a parent already home needing some inspiration, you'll be in luck this weekend: Dateline NBC is going to re-run a remarkable story on Russian adoption.

Correspondent Keith Morrison's story originally aired last June. It is the story of Lisa and Hythem Salem, "two regular people in an average suburb in America", as Morrison called them. Not... more

I put up this post the other day to dispel the notion that the Russian government has, somehow, acted deliberately to shut down adoptions. But I realized, in re-reading the item, that I didn't explain what is, and isn't, possible to do for a Russian adoption right now. So here goes:

1) Can I start a Russian adoption now? In a word: Yes. All the early paperwork takes place on our side of the globe, not Russia. So, spend some time ... more

Once again, the posters on the Russian Adoption Forum have put forth an interesting question: What did you ask for on your referral, and how specific were you?

I think that the hardest task I had--with both adoptions--was filling out the form for my agency about the type of child I was open to adopt. Nothing has ever made me feel more limited--or more shallow. After all,... more

The early stages of your adoption journey are going to be filled with lots of paperwork--for your agency, for a social worker, for the U.S. government, for the Russian government. It's all leading up to the first big milestone: Getting your referral.

The referral is, in basic terms, adoption matchmaking: An agency looks at all the information about prospective parents and all the information about adoptable children, and puts two and two together. Some agencies start with the parents--they look at the parents and see which child meets their desires.... more

I did not want to make two trips to Russia for my second adoption. I'm a single mom, with an older child I didn't want to leave alone, even if it was with relatives, for two weeks or more. And I couldn't imagine what my new child would think when I showed up at his orphanage, gave him my full attention and then disappeared, leaving only the promise of "Mommy will be back soon."

So when I started my second adoption in December 2004, I focused on a region that was still requiring only one trip: Sakhalin Island, way out in the Pacific Ocean north of Japan. Eighteen... more

You are tired and disoriented. You have seen unbelievable riches in Moscow and unspeakable poverty in the hinterlands. You are about to see an orphanage, something that has absolutely nothing to do with the pastel fairylands of American baby magazines.

But most importantly, you are about to meet your child. I have been through this twice, and experience did little to soothe the anxiety I felt meeting my second son for the first time. With almost two years since that first trip, I have had time to sort out the most important things to know about that day.

1)... more

Before I traveled to Russia for my first adoption in 1999, my agency had sent me a video of my older son and a large packet of medical information that had been compiled by the baby home. The situation was much the same in 2004, when I got the referral for my younger son, and the medical information was even more detailed. Yes, there were some worrisome details, and I may write more about them sometime, but I had quite a lot to go on. The journalist in me felt very comforted by all the information I had, and the fact that I could evaluate it at length before I accepted the referral.

But now, because of the upheaval in Russian adoptions, a lot of people are traveling blind--no information... more